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I'm listening to a radio show whereon John Fugelsang is interviewing Judy Gold, and she talks about how she wanted to create a family sitcom about her family - that is, two women and their kids. The lesbian thing was a barrier for entry into the industry; John joked that the producers wanted her to date a hot guy in the second season, as if the lesbian thing was just a phase. Judy responded with a joke about how the show should have been called "Just a Phase".

That phrase set off a memory that I wanted to relate. This is the kind of thing psychologists, especially those that work with kids, need to hear...or probably, needed to hear back in 1995 when this incident occurred. (My more recent experiences with the counseling system in this country have been much more positive.)

I got very pissed off about something at the end of my first year of college, and the administration had me talk to a counselor at the school. I remember telling her about being in love with one of my friends, and she said something along the lines of "Well don't you think that might just be a temporary thing you're going through?" She didn't actually use the words 'just a phrase,' but they hung in the air, blinking in blue and pink neon.

I don't remember what I responded to that, honestly. I had been there opening up to this stranger, and at those words it was as if every door in my soul slammed shut. I'm surprised there wasn't a reverberation in the room. How dare this woman tell me that my love was false? How dare she belittle this feeling that had overwhelmed me and flipped my life upside down (in a good way)? If she had any psychological sense at all, she must have known by my expression that I was never going to tell her anything important ever again.

Date: 2011-08-07 04:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
On the one hand, it was profoundly insensitive of her.

On the other hand, my neighbor's son is 14 and looking at the way he relates to his peers... I damn well hope he's not forming any permanent attachments.

I think the issue is as much a problem of adults forgetting the intensity of adolescent emotions as of anti-gay prejudice.


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